Hello my friends, how are you all today? I am indeed, well I'm ok I guess. I'm in the language lab doing nothing really except writing this blog to you. I should be doing a presentation on 'Corse' - but instead I am chatting to someone sitting next to me on google chat.
Later on I have a free period but have somehow been roped into being a member of the technical crew, backstage on Charities Day - as well as doing something or another to do with the raffle. Infact I grovelled to all the local shops to get those stupid fluffy teddies for the year 7's to win and attack people on the buses with.
After that I shall of course go to the gym, assuming I survive the bus ride home. I have recently started taking the school bus and it's lethal! I found out that little kids are mean and also even with my mp3 on volume 22 I can still hear them screaming.
Also I found out that my sister has a boyfriend?!?! She's 12! Anyway she has a boyfriend who she sits with on the school bus and if I'm there then he gets off two stops early to keep from walking with me - he lives in our clos. He's scared of me! I have to say I'm kinda surprised at her - not only is she less mature than I was at 12 (thank god) but she also maintained that 'boys are yucky' view until a few weeks ago apparently!
There's no way she's going to his house without me - there's only one thing 13 year old boys are interested in...and it isn't Action Man...
Friday, June 30, 2006
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Grr
Ok Abs, drag me out of my little hovel then why don't you? Nah just kidding sweets - welcome back by the way.
I'd talk more if I had anything to say!
All sorts of Uni stuff happening and visits and disasterous outings with father dearest. Back to the grind of college, sitting in my car for fun.
Went sailing today which was ace though.
Uh
I'd talk more if I had anything to say!
All sorts of Uni stuff happening and visits and disasterous outings with father dearest. Back to the grind of college, sitting in my car for fun.
Went sailing today which was ace though.
Uh
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Fried Donkey
That is what I am. I don't think I was made for the hot weather to be honest. I'm absolutely boiling.
Off to Exeter on Monday for a couple of days so that should be cool. Well hot but cool because - you know what I mean.
Uhh no other news...
Off to Exeter on Monday for a couple of days so that should be cool. Well hot but cool because - you know what I mean.
Uhh no other news...
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Monday, June 12, 2006
Starfish
No this post has no relevance to starfish, I just like that word and it's my blog so deal with it! Sorry that was harsh...
Saff actually shouted today because I said sorry too much, Keir too has been known to get a bit frustrated. Yeah so sorry about that.
So what's happening? Not much. Went out on Saturday, it was ok but I hardly knew anyone and possibly ended up dancing to some horrible disco music. I drank lemonade all night which is the worrying thing. So getting home was fun, bloody miles to walk in the dark, and I am afraid of the dark. Still.
Back to college now which no is not exciting or thrilling. But still - sailing is back in my life three times a week and I'm teaching it in a few weeks so all is ok! I can deal with college if I get to go and get soaking wet three times a week.
I still don't know what the deal is for summer - my mum seems to want to see Edinburgh with me which worries me a little... Other than that I need a job for some of the summer I guess since I keep spending money somehow.
I look horrible today. Random.
Love y'all
Saff actually shouted today because I said sorry too much, Keir too has been known to get a bit frustrated. Yeah so sorry about that.
So what's happening? Not much. Went out on Saturday, it was ok but I hardly knew anyone and possibly ended up dancing to some horrible disco music. I drank lemonade all night which is the worrying thing. So getting home was fun, bloody miles to walk in the dark, and I am afraid of the dark. Still.
Back to college now which no is not exciting or thrilling. But still - sailing is back in my life three times a week and I'm teaching it in a few weeks so all is ok! I can deal with college if I get to go and get soaking wet three times a week.
I still don't know what the deal is for summer - my mum seems to want to see Edinburgh with me which worries me a little... Other than that I need a job for some of the summer I guess since I keep spending money somehow.
I look horrible today. Random.
Love y'all
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Even Angels Fall
Just a wee quick post to counteract those yesterday.
It's gorgeouse here, so gorgeous that I don't mind the fact that I've been inside for 9 hours serving frankly quite rude, bad-tipping, tourists.
I'm going out to a party tonight, going out, socialising! No I'm not going to drink...
I hope you're all well and we can chat soon.
It's gorgeouse here, so gorgeous that I don't mind the fact that I've been inside for 9 hours serving frankly quite rude, bad-tipping, tourists.
I'm going out to a party tonight, going out, socialising! No I'm not going to drink...
I hope you're all well and we can chat soon.
Friday, June 09, 2006
I could never be your perfect girl
Little moan - yeah I know this has become a depressive shit-hole but this morning I really do not care.
My wonderful mother and father are infinitely 'disappointed' and 'worried' because of how I look. I don't care at the moment.
Are parents supposed to make you cry and refuse food? I guess so.
No pity. No sympathy. Just yell at me or something - might snap me out of it.
My wonderful mother and father are infinitely 'disappointed' and 'worried' because of how I look. I don't care at the moment.
Are parents supposed to make you cry and refuse food? I guess so.
No pity. No sympathy. Just yell at me or something - might snap me out of it.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
And that's just the Philosophy....
Freud 1856-1939
Jung 1875-1961
Emile Durkheim 1858-1917
Max Weber 1864-1920
Karl Marx 1818-1883
Thomas Aquinas 1225-1274
Immanuel Kant 1724-1804
Cardinal Newman 1801-1890
J L Mackie 1917-1981
Ludwig Feurbach 1804-1872
Augustine 354-430
Irenaus 130-202
I have forgotten Anselm and Gaunilo.
I still need to learn these idiots theories.
I have yet to start on the Ethics.
I have 90 minutes.
Jung 1875-1961
Emile Durkheim 1858-1917
Max Weber 1864-1920
Karl Marx 1818-1883
Thomas Aquinas 1225-1274
Immanuel Kant 1724-1804
Cardinal Newman 1801-1890
J L Mackie 1917-1981
Ludwig Feurbach 1804-1872
Augustine 354-430
Irenaus 130-202
I have forgotten Anselm and Gaunilo.
I still need to learn these idiots theories.
I have yet to start on the Ethics.
I have 90 minutes.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
To love or not to love?
Before you dismiss this as a stupid question - yet another from me - hear me out. The question 'Do you see emotions as a weakness?' was asked on a forum I visit and at first I had an automatic response, but then I read some others and it made me think...
People who never show their emotions - I mean are you guys just machines or what? Ok ok I know I didn't for a long time but lets not bring me into this just now. How, and why, do we hide them away?
People who always let us know exactly how they feel - It's great that you can express yourselves but sometimes you need to work through things in your own mind before asking other's opinions. So how do you so easily spurt it out?
People who claim to have no emotions, show no emotions and recognise no emotions - You're kidding right? I mean of course you have emotions! So does everyone!
Right so I know you can't just lump people into three categories but you get my gist.
I personally, as you know, believe in a soul and I believe that our deepest emotions come from our souls. However I don't believe that all types of emotions can be shared - not due to weakness but simply because it's pointless. There are some things I prefer not to share and get advice on because I think I have a fair hand in causing them - so there's no point in pouring out my heart in explanation if it's my problem/fault/whatever...
What do you reckon? How many emotions should we show? To whom? How often?
Discuss ;)
People who never show their emotions - I mean are you guys just machines or what? Ok ok I know I didn't for a long time but lets not bring me into this just now. How, and why, do we hide them away?
People who always let us know exactly how they feel - It's great that you can express yourselves but sometimes you need to work through things in your own mind before asking other's opinions. So how do you so easily spurt it out?
People who claim to have no emotions, show no emotions and recognise no emotions - You're kidding right? I mean of course you have emotions! So does everyone!
Right so I know you can't just lump people into three categories but you get my gist.
I personally, as you know, believe in a soul and I believe that our deepest emotions come from our souls. However I don't believe that all types of emotions can be shared - not due to weakness but simply because it's pointless. There are some things I prefer not to share and get advice on because I think I have a fair hand in causing them - so there's no point in pouring out my heart in explanation if it's my problem/fault/whatever...
What do you reckon? How many emotions should we show? To whom? How often?
Discuss ;)
Friday, June 02, 2006
Can you even look me in the eye?
Apologies everyone for the erratic posting, paranoia and general annoying-ness that has been conveyed via this blog in the past few weeks and days. If you want me to be 100% honest I'll tell you I've been having a bit of a shit time recently - probably mostly my fault I must add - but I'm on the up I think. I'm ready to start the ascent up Everest, maybe happiness will be on the summit. And it'll be a hell of a journey.
Today it was sunny and I decided to wear short sleeves and a new skirt and new shoes, and you know what? I looked pretty. Shock. Horror. I looked presentable. Well there's a first time for everything. (There's a first and a last too but I won't spoil the moment.)
I'm definitely getting off Guernsey for the summer, although I'm as yet unsure as to where I'll be headed after the regatta in Cowes, IOW. I do know however that I'll be up in Scotland at the beginning of September for Uni visits in Edinburgh and Glasgow - so start preparing your shelters...
I'm having a music crisis at the moment too because currently P!nk, Enrique Iglesias and Lucie Silvas are on repeat. I blame it on the general suicidal outlook ;) Which is surely not the feeling they were getting at? Well who knows, maybe it's a global pop plot.
I'm working Saturdays and Sundays now, so between the hours of 7am and 3pm on a Saturday and 2:30pm and 10:30pm on a Sunday I will be Front of House manager. Yes that does mean a pay increase - wow I can't be half bad at this receptionist thing.
I've been going out a lot, to save me from myself lol. Been to see crappy movies and to hang out with Saff and her fiancé - their bed isn't very big though and it gets pretty crowded ;)
Anyway I think I'm out of the woods now, for a little while at least... I know I might have worried a few people but now it's all ok. Well ok in the sense that I think I'll leave my blood in my body for a while and I don't fancy another trip to A&E - my membership's run out anyway :P
Oh and it's 13 days until I'm 17 years old. Heck yes. I'm gonna drive :D - watch out...
Take care, be loved. xxx
Today it was sunny and I decided to wear short sleeves and a new skirt and new shoes, and you know what? I looked pretty. Shock. Horror. I looked presentable. Well there's a first time for everything. (There's a first and a last too but I won't spoil the moment.)
I'm definitely getting off Guernsey for the summer, although I'm as yet unsure as to where I'll be headed after the regatta in Cowes, IOW. I do know however that I'll be up in Scotland at the beginning of September for Uni visits in Edinburgh and Glasgow - so start preparing your shelters...
I'm having a music crisis at the moment too because currently P!nk, Enrique Iglesias and Lucie Silvas are on repeat. I blame it on the general suicidal outlook ;) Which is surely not the feeling they were getting at? Well who knows, maybe it's a global pop plot.
I'm working Saturdays and Sundays now, so between the hours of 7am and 3pm on a Saturday and 2:30pm and 10:30pm on a Sunday I will be Front of House manager. Yes that does mean a pay increase - wow I can't be half bad at this receptionist thing.
I've been going out a lot, to save me from myself lol. Been to see crappy movies and to hang out with Saff and her fiancé - their bed isn't very big though and it gets pretty crowded ;)
Anyway I think I'm out of the woods now, for a little while at least... I know I might have worried a few people but now it's all ok. Well ok in the sense that I think I'll leave my blood in my body for a while and I don't fancy another trip to A&E - my membership's run out anyway :P
Oh and it's 13 days until I'm 17 years old. Heck yes. I'm gonna drive :D - watch out...
Take care, be loved. xxx
Monday, May 29, 2006
Are you alive?
Now call me crazy...
...Actually don't.
But anyway - where are you people? Everyone's disappeared from my blog. Ok so I know it's a leetle bit shite just now - well always. But, but. You used to humour me!
Tell you what you tell me what you want to read, and I'll write it.
...Actually don't.
But anyway - where are you people? Everyone's disappeared from my blog. Ok so I know it's a leetle bit shite just now - well always. But, but. You used to humour me!
Tell you what you tell me what you want to read, and I'll write it.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Well whadda you know?
This is crazy. Today my horrible 12-year-old sister gave me a book. You wanna know what it's called? "Life's Little Instruction Book"
Sure it's a little lame, it's not so great but my sister gave me a book with '511 suggestions, observations and reminders on how to live a happy and rewarding life'
I am in shock.
xxx
Of course she tried to sit on my head two hours later but mneh...
Sure it's a little lame, it's not so great but my sister gave me a book with '511 suggestions, observations and reminders on how to live a happy and rewarding life'
I am in shock.
xxx
Of course she tried to sit on my head two hours later but mneh...
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Kings Crossing
The King's crossing was the main attraction
Dominoes falling in a chain reaction
The scraping subject ruled by fear told me
Whiskey works better than beer
The judge is on vinyl, decisions aren't final
And nobody gets a reprieve
And every wave is tidal If you hang around you're going to get wet
I can't prepare for death any more than I already have
All you can do now is watch the shells
The game looks easy, that's why it sells
Frustrated fireworks inside your head
Are going to stand and deliver dark instead
The method acting that pays my bills
Keeps the fat man feeding in Beverly Hills
I got a heavy metal mouth, it hurls obscenity
And I get my check from the trash treasury Because I took my own insides out
It don't matter cause I have no sex life
And all I wanna do now is inject my ex-wife I've seen the movie
And I know what happens
It's Christmas time
And the needle's on the tree
A skinny Santa is bringing something to me
His voice is overwhelming
But his speech is slurred
And I only understand every other word
Open your parachute and grab your gun
Float down like an omen, a setting sun
Read the part and return at five
It's a hell of a role if you can keep it alive
But I don't care if I fuck up
I'm going on a date
With a rich white lady
Ain't life great?
Gi'me one good reason not to do it(Because I love you)
So do it.
This is the place where time reverses
And dead men talk to all the pretty nurses
Instruments shine on a silver tray
Don't let me get carried away
Don't let me get carried away
Don't let me be carried away
Elliott Smith
From A Basement On A Hill
Dominoes falling in a chain reaction
The scraping subject ruled by fear told me
Whiskey works better than beer
The judge is on vinyl, decisions aren't final
And nobody gets a reprieve
And every wave is tidal If you hang around you're going to get wet
I can't prepare for death any more than I already have
All you can do now is watch the shells
The game looks easy, that's why it sells
Frustrated fireworks inside your head
Are going to stand and deliver dark instead
The method acting that pays my bills
Keeps the fat man feeding in Beverly Hills
I got a heavy metal mouth, it hurls obscenity
And I get my check from the trash treasury Because I took my own insides out
It don't matter cause I have no sex life
And all I wanna do now is inject my ex-wife I've seen the movie
And I know what happens
It's Christmas time
And the needle's on the tree
A skinny Santa is bringing something to me
His voice is overwhelming
But his speech is slurred
And I only understand every other word
Open your parachute and grab your gun
Float down like an omen, a setting sun
Read the part and return at five
It's a hell of a role if you can keep it alive
But I don't care if I fuck up
I'm going on a date
With a rich white lady
Ain't life great?
Gi'me one good reason not to do it(Because I love you)
So do it.
This is the place where time reverses
And dead men talk to all the pretty nurses
Instruments shine on a silver tray
Don't let me get carried away
Don't let me get carried away
Don't let me be carried away
Elliott Smith
From A Basement On A Hill
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY
Can't I study? I mean I'm doing anything and everything to avoid it - I've watched AWFUL movies, tidied the garage, washed my hair again, eaten chocolate, eaten disgusting microwave food and written a lot of rubbish in a notebook.
I am fucked.
I am fucked.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
An Ode To Poets
This was written by a guy on a site I visit, it made me giggle - and poets around it's really not meant to offend. As I say I thought it was funny and you know what I'm like with poetry...
Cliché after cliché
And rhyming to make it breezy
Writing poetry is easy
Especially like this about feelings, not cheesy.
Keeping on writing,
About how I’m fighting,
It’s narrative, derivative and delighting
All of you, because it’s “powerful”,“Lovely”,
“I can so relate”,“Myself too I do so hate”.
Life is so black,
life is so bleak,
Knives are fun and cool and sleek;
I’m feeling so bad, so I’ll write it down,
And on my head a poetry achievement will crown.
Because I write well,
About my personal hell,
And it’s so sad,
So mad,
So beautiful, so bad,
When I write poetry about feelings and shit.
So here comes the noose,
Tighter, it will not loose,
My feelings are so sad,
So sad, so sad,
I feel so bad,
So bad, so bad.
So won’t you relate,
To these overly familiar statements of hate,
These overly sentimentalised, cliché and third rate
Poems about feelings
And shit.
Cliché after cliché
And rhyming to make it breezy
Writing poetry is easy
Especially like this about feelings, not cheesy.
Keeping on writing,
About how I’m fighting,
It’s narrative, derivative and delighting
All of you, because it’s “powerful”,“Lovely”,
“I can so relate”,“Myself too I do so hate”.
Life is so black,
life is so bleak,
Knives are fun and cool and sleek;
I’m feeling so bad, so I’ll write it down,
And on my head a poetry achievement will crown.
Because I write well,
About my personal hell,
And it’s so sad,
So mad,
So beautiful, so bad,
When I write poetry about feelings and shit.
So here comes the noose,
Tighter, it will not loose,
My feelings are so sad,
So sad, so sad,
I feel so bad,
So bad, so bad.
So won’t you relate,
To these overly familiar statements of hate,
These overly sentimentalised, cliché and third rate
Poems about feelings
And shit.
Monday, May 22, 2006
A Check-Up
Did I ever mention that I love you guys? All of you who visit here. I just wanted to make sure you knew. Take care of yourselves always.
xxx
xxx
Monday, May 15, 2006
A Rest
Do not stand at my blog and weep
I am still here;
I'm only asleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my blog and cry,
I am still here;
I did not die.
x
I am still here;
I'm only asleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my blog and cry,
I am still here;
I did not die.
x
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Self Discovery? Honesty?
Not my idea I assure you, but I thought I'd give it a crack - feel free to dispute or add your own...
I love the way that I...
like to help other people out
can make people smile
stick by what I believe no matter what
stay faithful
always keep secrets
am trustworthy
keep things neat and tidy
know how to wire a plug
I hate the way that I...
am always moaning about something
pester people constantly
am paranoid
treat myself sometimes
can be too needy
am rarely true to myself
get so easily influenced by others
let people do things I'm not happy with
have no strength when I need it
sat down to actually write this...
I love the way that I...
like to help other people out
can make people smile
stick by what I believe no matter what
stay faithful
always keep secrets
am trustworthy
keep things neat and tidy
know how to wire a plug
I hate the way that I...
am always moaning about something
pester people constantly
am paranoid
treat myself sometimes
can be too needy
am rarely true to myself
get so easily influenced by others
let people do things I'm not happy with
have no strength when I need it
sat down to actually write this...
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