Saturday, October 31, 2009

So here it is.

I got depressed. Two weeks ago I started a new med - Paroxetine (Seroxat). It's an anti-depressant. An SSRI.

Since then we have moved to South Yorkshire, and I started feeling a little brighter.

Today was my beautiful niece's 2nd birthday and we had a fab time at her party, then trick-or-treating, then eating Ben and Jerrys.

It's the little things that you have to hold on to.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

I seem to be settling into a pattern of not writing titles. I just can't get on with them, they won't pop into my head anymore... similarly my Facebook and Twitter updates are suffering. Do you mind? I guess the point of a title is to give you a little clue as to what I'm going to write about - but you all know by now what I write about so I'm sure you can manage without a title. It wouldn't be funny anyway.

The tablets I am currently on seem to be doing wonders (Olanzapine 10mg & Lamotrigine 75mg) - I was worried with the weight issues surrounding the Olanzapine but it seems to be having an opposite effect on me... my appetite is diminishing by the day and I can't even finish a meal... not that this is a particularly bad thing since I ballooned on the Quetiapine of a few months ago.
Lamotrigine is not licenced to treat bipolar in the UK, but is used as an off-label mood stabiliser - despite being marketed as an anti-convulsant used in the treatment of epilepsy.

I feel a lot more stable and my sleep has evened out too - getting about 8/9 hours a night which is a pretty good level for me as sleep is an integral part of my mood. When I panic it is for a few minutes at most and when I'm depressed it passes relatively quickly too. As for the self-harm... that happens occasionally still but to a much lesser degree than a few years ago.

This has turned into one of those sickening 'I'm fine' posts. I don't want to sound like I'm gloating to others of you suffering... I just think that this blog works best when I'm being honest and open with you all. It's the only hope I have of really helping someone.