On a blogging roll at the moment, don't know if that's a good sign or a bad one. Sometimes I just can't speculate, but sometimes I know that something bad is going to happen.
This morning (01:23am) to be precise, I am in a bit of a torment.
I don't know how to write it down, that's frustrating because I can't get out what I want to.
I didn't take my meds yesterday. That's why I'm awake. If I'd taken them I'd be passed out in bed until mid morning, no doubt.
This is one of my points, those ones I'm trying to make. Badly. The meds keep me level. They keep me what could be called 'sane'.
But they keep me down. They make it hard to talk, hard to see, hard to move... hard to be. I suppose it's really being level, but to a person with bipolar being level is difficult.
Without the meds I have plans... I want to tidy. I want to write love notes to William. I want to stand on the balcony and listen to the waves. I've been awake only 14 hours... that's double what I'd normally manage.
And babies. This medicine could affect a baby developing. But I really want babies.
You're going to read this and think it's a bit eratic. If you've read up, you'll warn me that I'm becoming manic.
I'm not. I'm just the crazy one.