Monday, March 30, 2009


I'd like to thank Patricia at 'In Case You Were Wondering' for this award. I am honestly so thrilled - I've never gotten one of these before! We've not known each other for a great amount of time but I value very highly her comments on my posts - and her patience at my lack of comments back!
So here's the drill: I have to list 10 totally honest things about me, and then pass this award onto 7 other blogs that I think are brilliant and well worth a visit. Hope you enjoy it!
1. Sometimes I test people. I ask them questions to which I already know the answer - just to make sure they're concentrating. It might sound like a rotten thing to do but they mainly know what I'm doing and (I hope) I've never offended someone with this little 'game'.
2. I've only just started enjoying having a dog. We got Baby last August and since then it's been a long time filled with her mess and worst of all, her bark. A few days ago we decided to walk her further - everyday. And these past few days have been fabulous! She sleeps all the time on her new bed!
3. I will often try to convince myself that I don't want something, when really I want it more than anything. If there's something I want or something I want to do - you can be sure I'll convince myself it's stupid, and not worth doing.
4. I've never really thought of myself as a good person. I know that I'm not bad - but that doesn't automatically make me good, does it?
5. I am embarassed to have bipolar. If I am asked on a form or in person to declare any health issues I will avoid it for as long as possible. I will list anything else I can think of - relevant or not - and try to see if I can neglect to explain bipolar affective disorder. My personality disorder? No-one gets told about that!
6. I wish I'd seen my Aunty Helen one last time before she died. Her throat cancer was left far too long before she sought help, and once she found out her plight she turned everyone away. No-one was allowed to visit her, and I wish she hadn't felt that way. I need to visit Uncle Roy more often, but I'm ashamed that only he saw her last days - that he had to cope alone.
7. It's been almost a year since I last had a haircut. I am petrified of them. I can't stand sitting in that chair faced with a huge mirror. Hence my split-ends are fed with moisturising shampoo for as long as I can avoid a visit. (One is planned when I'm in Guernsey)
8. Some of my best friends are people that I have never met, and may never meet.
9. I can cook. I just tell myself that I can't. I let Will cook, only helping when he asks - and even then I get scared I'll do something wrong.
10. I've always wanted a library. With all the books I buy (5 for £2) we're well on the way - unfortunately our one bed flat doesn't have room!
So there you have it.
Here are my chosen blogs...
Rainbow Dreams (Katie) has become a firm friend and our friendship has extended beyond this blog and onto Facebook and even phone. She is full of beautiful thoughts and feelings - she doesn't claim to always be right, but she's often closer than she thinks.
Misty La Vrangue is a girl I know from when we were very little in Primary school. We lost touch in year 6 and recently found each other again through our bipolar diagnosis. She is finding her way one day at a time, it's a hard journey but her blog never fails to make me smile.
Broken Mannequin (Charli) has become a friend also - we've not known each other a long while and I know I am not alone in being an admirer of her blog and indeed her words. She is a fantastically raw poet and it's because of her that I venture to call myself a writer. Sometimes ;)
Faith In The Margins (Jules) is a lady who taught me that I don't have to decide my religion, I can admire aspects of christianity - but we both know that attending church doesn't necessarily make you a christian. Her journey with God is beautiful reading and I wish her every bit of love in her ongoing quest.
Karyne's Kronicles (Karyne) is a lady who I don't even claim to know very well - but I enjoy her blog a great deal and value her comments here. I'd love to get to know her better and hence I am loving her blog!
Awareness (Dana) - this blog is fantastic also. I never fail to learn something and as such I have no doubts about giving her this award - keep on keepin' on Dana!
Paul Chambers is one of the first bloggers I began to follow. Writing from my homeland, Guernsey, he never fails to make me think and I just love the beautiful photography that match his entrancing words.
Thanks Patricia!


Nikita said...

PS I can't separate my paragraphs - sorry! x

Thomas said...

You have some great blogs listed here. Thanks for the reading list!

much2ponder said...

Hey Nikita, very informative. Thank you for your honesty! Two things popped out at me.

1. How do you define a good person? Think about it, you probably fit.

As for the bipolar... you do not need to be ashamed that you have bipolar because truth is we all have some type of chemical imbalance. You are one who is brave enough to get the help you need to deal with it:) Be proud!

Awareness said...

the truth shall set you free...some wise cracker said that I think. :)

thank you my sailor friend. i will conjure up a few truths and set them free....:)

swile67 said...

thank you...i just checked my bloglines and saw your lovely post! you are sweet! i am experiencing a bit of writer's block so this will give me something to post and get baack at it! thanks for your honesty. I was interested in the fact that you are embarassed by your bipolar. I was curious if those in today's generation like yourself experience the same stigma as my mom's generation. I know she is embarassed and especially was shunned by her church in the early days- a place that should be understanding. how can we change that stigma? or is it something that won't? anyways, i'm rambling and it is late..must get going but will write more later! take care sweet girl found. we are glad you are found:)

Nikita said...

No problem Thomas! Hey - everytime I link your blog the link fails... am I doing something wrong?

:) Thanks m2p. You're right of course. Much love. x And thanks again for the award!

No problem Dana. You're welcome.

You're welcome Karyne! As for the stigma - it still exists. There has recently been a campaign in the UK to change this, and it's something I'm doing all I can for. Stigma - they often say - is more damning than the disease. x

Awareness said...

hey honey....i posted mine. xx hope it makes you's all true.

Rainbow dreams said...

Thanks Niki, I'll post mine soon, thank you so much, hugs, xx

swile67 said...

i'm posting mine tonight so should be up soon...i'm interested to hear more about this campaign. I think i agree the stigma is more damning than the disease. will ttyl!!

Anonymous said...

hey niki

thanks for your kind words - sadly not everyone who stops by my bullshit is as, shall we say, positive.... never really been much of one for tags and memes - i do though think fondly that you like my rambles....

just wanted you to know - as my friend pip says... you are beautiful

Nikita said...

Dana, Katie. Thank you.

Thanks Karyne... the campaign was called 'Time to Change'... look it up! x

Thank you Paul, just wanted to acknowledge you and your beautiful writing. Thank you ;)