Sunday, April 05, 2009

Eating

I once heard it said... "Show me a woman who has a healthy attitude to food, and I'll show you a man."

Now, aside from this being entirely sexist (I know both the male and female population struggle with eating and disorders), it did make me think and take a step back for a moment.

I have never had a healthy food attitutde. I have always been a little bit overweight - and have always been painfully aware of this.

When I was young I ate too much, because it was how my mother nurtured me - and when I was full I still never said no. Which meant that as I got older I lost control of being able to tell when I was full and didn't need anymore food. My days began to revolve around food and what meal I might have or snack I might sneak when away from prying eyes. Getting my driving licence meant I had unlimited access to whatever food I liked, or was permitted by my receptionists wages.

Despite this, in my teens I did even out a bit and when I look back now - I realise that I was a perfectly healthy size. If only I listened to my friends back then, and took the time to actually look at the photos!

My mother never told me anything other than I was overweight, and needed to lose. Hence at home I was always on some diet or another. It's not until recently that she told me she thinks I am really beautiful and thought I looked perfectly proportioned when I was in 6th form.

I wish I'd known that then!

Now, of course, I am overweight - and I know that. I am trying to diet but when I diet I have a tendency to not eat altogether, or purge when I feel I've eaten too much. My attitude to food is skewed and I don't know how to get it back.

It sounds like I'm blaming my Mum/upbringing... but I'm not. I'm just interested in childhood eating habits and how they shape the people we become. I know that the medication I am on will affect me too... and so I ask, what is the right attitutde to food? And how do we get it?!

5 comments:

much2ponder said...

I believe your question may have several answers based on who the person is you are asking.

It truly is understanding what works for you and making lifestyle changes that will ensure a healthy diet in balance with physical activity. Sounds easy doesn't it?

I know it is not easy though. I know one thing and that is that diets do not work unless you plan on staying on the diet for the rest of your life. Since this would be impossible for any human being, it is more valuable to understand what your body needs and then add or take away as needed.

This may take some research and letting go of old ideas about food, but it is something that can be done.

As for your mother, I did the same thing to my youngest with out realizing it. He is now dealing with a weight problem, partly because of he has a propensity to be over weight and partly because food makes him happy and feel loved. We live and learn...don't we.

Nikita said...

Hello there, thanks for the reply.
I think that your ideas of sticking to a healthy eating 'plan'.. are much better than dieting - because you're right, when a diet ends... what then?

What I have hoped is that the diet would kick-start a healthy eating regime, but as I'm one for the extremes... that never happens for me.

Living and learning... amen.

shirley said...

hiya again! :)

i think that is a brillaint and vital question nikita. i kind of feel like if i could keep on asking myself that question (instead of 'how can i manage to lose weight when i've failed so far?') i might actually get somewhere.

books i recommend are the one i mentioned before on fb but will mention it again for anyone else's benefit here:

overcoming overeating by jane hirschmann and beyond chocolate by sophie boss. both v well written, friendly books.

Nikita said...

Thanks Shirley, I really will look up those books. This research for my interview is really getting me interested in all this!

Rainbow dreams said...
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