Someone who used to love me pointed out the other day that this blog has only one subject on which all the posts are written. This is true. I have tried many times to write what I think people want to read but you know what? Sod it.
It's my blog and I never say this stuff out loud. It's my therapy. I don't mind if no-one reads it, but I love it when people do.
About Me
- Nikita
- I'm Nikita and I'm whatever you want me to be. I am a bipolar nothing. A student with no course. I am a writer and a critic. I'm a southerner who strayed north. I read with closed eyes. I take anti-psychotics and mood stabilisers and anti-depressants. My arms are littered with scars. I'm a dreamer who woke up. I am in love. aloha x
My first ever award, Thank you Patricia!
9 comments:
Hiya Niki
When I read back thro my blog it just looks so self pre-occupied and I try to think of ways of changing my style so it's cool? intellectual? and shows what a strong? independent? clever? sassy? woman of the world I am. Then people will come from all over just to read it! But d'ya know what I am none of those things, I'm just a headcase who loves Jesus,doesn't 'fit' anywhere and who's mis-understood and trying to survive at the moment from 8 til 8 without losing my mind.
P.S. your blog helps keep me sane for some insane reason!
love Julie
Hi Julie; well done for surviving this page...keeps you sane?! You muffin...
Ta though; sending lots of support to you. xxx
I do think we can only be ourselves... and then it's up to others to choose to read or not... personally I give up with reading blogs that try to be something they're not...
One of the things I like about here is that you keep it real... though I love hearing the good times as well as the bad... hugs, Katie,x
Whenever i try to write something for someone else, I get stuck. Or, if I try to write something with a particular reader in mind, I get stuck.
The words flow more readily when they come from my own need or perspective......
Right now, I have 5 drafts waiting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I don't even know if that will happen. I seem to get stuck in the syntax and possible misinterpretations from others, because I'm afraid of what? How I'm being perceived?
I need to get out of that stupid headspace and write what I want.
You're right, Niki...... and I will do the same.
as my buddy martyn joseph has said of those who love conditionally......faaaark 'em
as you say - it's your space to say what the hell you want......don't ever change that....ever
Katie; thanks for that! Your words were really sweet. Keep it real, right? X
Dana my star you do need to get out of that headspace; write what you want, when you want, how you want. Good luck.
Hi Paul. Wise words indeed :) Gorgeous day ain't it?
Ta Laura; I couldn't change even if I wanted to! XXX
that's what blogs are for! i think people love to read them because it helps them feel less alone in the world. it is so easy to get to a place where you feel you're the only screw-up. blogs are great at reminding us that we all have struggles. i love that. i love that anyone can publish and be read. i think it is utterly nesscessary. and then everysooften you get really lovely, well written, well presented, cared-for blogs that are just a breath of fresh air. yours is one of these.
sometimes i think when people tell other people who can articulate their pain that they are self-centred or self-obssessed, that it is a matter of fear or jealousy, or both. your commitment to to the truth about yourself is of benefit to everyone you come into contact with, even the people who find that difficult to deal with. i really believe that.
keep on keepin' on.
Mr T you have made my morning; if I weren't late for tutor then I'd try to respond more conherently. I'll be back.
You're the writer. This is your blog. Ergo, write what you want and feel no guilt for doing so.
I love your blog, BTW. I followed your link home from Rainbow Dreams, and I look forward to reading more. Hope you'll drop by mine and say hi.
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