Sunday, February 11, 2007

For Dana...

When I’m sailing I feel as though I am alive; sailing is the one part of my world where it seems none of my life has seeped in. When perched precariously on the edge of a boat, any boat, I feel that I could do anything; when I fall in it feels thrilling. If I’m ill, I sail just as though I were well; sailing is the thing that makes my heart ache when I stare into the distance from my bench above the harbour. I would leave tomorrow – or even today – if I was offered the chance to just sail away without any care. I think of a life without the sea and it’s bleak. I like to play music, I like to hold my friends close to me, I like to write and I like to drive; but I love, I love to sail. A writer knows they’ve found their passion when they cannot write about it but only stare into its shadow and dream.

I think my favourite place, is Paris. When I was a child my favourite film was ‘The Aristocats’ because, well I don’t really know. I wore out two copies of that tape, and then my sister was born and she ate the third copy – well chewed it and poured Heinz baby juice all over it. To a child, the portrayal in that film of Paris was just magical; the watercolour streets and American actors with French accents and when I first visited Paris every street looked as though Marie and Toulouse might have run through it whilst escaping the evil English butler, Edgar. I don’t own a copy anymore, they stopped making tapes of it and I’ve never gotten around to finding a DVD; plus I’m afraid that watching it now would ruin the unquestioned memories of a five year old romantic.

Music is like sailing, but for my ears. I always have music playing; when I get home I walk around the house and turn all the radios and stereos on, I don’t even park my car without putting on a CD and turning it up very loud. I don’t know if I have a specific piece which has touched me though; I have favourites of course but I’m hesitant to pinpoint a specific highlight. I could easily put together an ‘essential’ collection but as my mood changes from moment to moment, so do my musical needs.

I have so many dreams, for after university – really university is just borrowed time that I’ll use to dream some more. I want to work on a lifeboat and go out to sea; I want to be a part of that orange hope powering towards sailors in distress. I want to be an interpreter or translator in Paris and spend days in a café poring over beautiful French. I want to be a lifeguard in Cornwall and spend the summer guarding the beach. I want to be a park ranger in New Zealand. I want to sail around the world. I want to visit every country in the world. I know they’re only dreams and they’ll probably never happen but what’s a person without dreams?

8 comments:

Stagestruckgal said...

"The day you stop dreaming, you may as well take yourself down to the undertakers. You're not a person without dreams, promise me you'll always dream"

I forget where I read it, but I always remember it. Yeah, uni is just another place to dream. Alongside working as well.

miss v said...

I loved The Aristocats too *beams*
Hope you're ok, treacle. My weekend is as crap as expected. Bring on Monday...*sigh* XXX

Awareness said...

Niki..........I'm sitting in my office reading your words.....and feeling so many things.....tears have blurred them all. This is beautiful....and I'm so touched.

If I close my eyes i can picture you sitting on the side of the sailboat, face to the beautiful breezes....hair blowing back...with a big huge FREEDOM smile on your face.........loving the moment.......

Your sailing, your writing and your friends are your touchpoints to God and all that is good.....but sailing is how you embrace Him...... :)

Paris is magical.....I too loved Aristocats.......loved the scene when they are tiptoeing on the piano making music and being a bit saucy.

You dreams are wonderful..... and I hope they come true for you.....

AND I hope that one day, I look out my window and see you sailing up the Saint John River from the Bay of Fundy waving madly at me to come down for a ride.

Thank you for sharing your heart with me. Now I must go clean the mascara marks off my face!!

take care sweetie. xo dana.

Awareness said...

Hi again...........I just heard a remake of Van Morrison's "Into the Mystic" by Paul James (a Canadian Blues guy) and it was brilliant Niki! I've always loved that song. While listening, I thought of you sailing. Morrison's words sum it up so beautifully.......

So..........can you find it and listen to it? I think you'll see/hear what I mean.

cheers.

d.

Niki said...

Oh I wrote out a long reply then lost it so fuck it; sorry. Back next week when I'm alive. XXX

Carmi said...

Hi Niki. Dreams are such an important part of our lives, and we live less enlightened lives if we do not have them.

Reading your beautifully worded entry, it's easy to see that at least one of your dreams will someday turn into reality. Keep reaching and it'll happen. Precisely WHAT that is is obviously unknown. But that's the fun of dreaming, after all.

I'm looking forward to returning to your blog. You have such a great view of the world.

Niki said...

Carmi; hello, welcome and thank you for your kind words. I hope that you will come back soon.

Rainbow dreams said...

Niki, I loved this post ~ to know what we love and to have dreams makes life so much richer - I still have dreams from when I was six or seven - and some I've only had for a short time... yours are wonderful, take care, hugs,
Katie,xx