Thursday, January 15, 2009

Brush with Beyond

I've been back there
Back to beyond
I got pulled back there
Back beyond.

Readers/observers of my Facebook page will notice that I had a pretty rough weekend... and I don't mean re. alcohol consumption.

The (boring) story behind it is I rang up on Friday to get a repeat script of my anti-psychotics, totally forgetting it was the weekend I planned to collect them on Saturday... long story short I couldn't collect them until Tuesday, so I was reduced to cutting up my last 150mg to make it last. I was not an advert for prescription drug addiction.

I found myself dragged back into a place where it was dark, yet I felt blinded. The place where voices and shadowy figures tried to swamp me, tried to take me away from reality... tried to convince me that all goodness is a lie.

And when I was back on them? My chest was tight, my balance a thing of the past... my vision all but a blurred mess.

Perhaps this post has no point, perhaps I vowed to write about my life... and this is it.

9 comments:

Carmi said...

I'm glad you had the courage to write about it. Shedding light on the dark can only help those too afraid to do so on their own.

Consider me awestruck by your pluck.

Nikita said...

Thanks Carmi! After nearly 5 years this blog has been my outlet... so why stop now.
But yes, recently I have become more occupied with giving those too afraid to talk a voice - or at least piss them off that much that they tell their own story!
x

Rainbow dreams said...

I'm pleased you came through that place, sorry your weekend was so rough..
hope it's improving now, xx

Nikita said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nikita said...

Thank you Katie... it was down to you I got through that night you know... xxx

Rainbow dreams said...

proud to call you a friend Niki, xx

Charli said...

Oh. Poor thing.Running out of meds is so scary.

Also scary: a glimpse of the darkness you swore you'd left behind.

Every once in a while, just when I've convinced myself that I am cured and I'll never be crazy again, I have two weeks full of flashbacks and nightmares. I am horrified to learn that this never goes away.

In incurability of mental illness is a terrible burden. I feel your pain.

Hope you feel better soon.

Nikita said...

Thank you Charli. I hope that you too are well.

I, am not good. Will write more later.

Charli said...

Please tell me if you need anything... Seriously. I know I'm far away. But not really.