Saturday, December 13, 2008

Quick Turnaround

I know I only just blogged a few hours ago but I'm sitting in bed watching music television waiting for Will to come home from town. I can't go to sleep without him at least in the house.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the image I project to the world at large. Of course this time of year I am fully sleeved - so the scars aren't the problem. 

Today for example. I dressed in black jeans, black patent flats, a navy Edinburgh hoody, a green pashmina and of course a sling. (Why are they such yucky yellow/brown colours?)

On my face I wore a smile for the most part, but no make up - I wore my hair loose, long and curly and brown with a side parting and a lot over my eyes, just as Will likes.

Today I took a bath first thing and combed my hair in the lounge (a recent trip to IKEA meant that we have gone from no mirrors in the house, to two of the things). My skin was pretty clear, my eyes really dark and my hair much longer than I remembered. 

I feel like I have emerged, that I've been wrapped in a bin bag for a few weeks. Nothing has changed - same clothes which really need replacements, same hair colour, same scarves... but today? I wore it all with confidence - and for the first time felt that it doesn't matter ultimately what you wear, so long as you do it with a little confidence.

This is the most recent photo of me I like... one whole year ago. 

Next step on my road to health? Take a new photo...


Charli said...

Hi Niki! Thanks for your visit to my blog.

I have scars too. I hate wearing long sleeves in summer.

I am always looking at people's wrists. No one really understands this.

I look forward to seeing a new picture! I'm going to add your blog to my blogroll if that is okay!

Niki said...

I look at wrists too Charli.


shirley said...

niki, you're beautiful. seriously!

Anonymous said...

inside and out xx

Niki said...

Thank you Shirley. XXX

Thanks Jules. XXX

Love and warmth to you

Awareness said...

hey sweetie....i'm fine over here across the pond. thank you for asking. x

i agree with's the inside feelings which make the clothes sing. it doesn't matter what you wear...

there is a clothing boutique store in town I love to go to. I have become friends with the woman who owns it. She's the best. Whenever i go in there, she is all enthusiastic and bouncy about wanting me to try something new on. Last year, when I was feeling shitty one day, I went in there to find something for Christmas. Not a good time to be shopping for clothes. However, she grabbed this tight light black dress off the rack and told me that i had the chutzpah to get away with wearing it. It was the LAST piece of clothing I would've picked for myself.....

I tried it on and it felt like it was made for hugged my body (one that is too voluptuous and overweight for its own good!!) and made me feel sexy again. It was her enthusiasm that gave me a boost.....

I never had more compliments over a piece of clothing than that was that suggestion that I could "get away with it" that gave me the confidence.. :)

I need to have some new photos taken of me too.

ps. the word verification? prone!

Niki said...

:) Dana I love the idea of you rocking out in a beautiful sexy black dress.

My unexpected piece of clothing? A light blue and silver silk mini-dress. No elastic, nowhere to hide. I always felt beautiful in it, and people had the kindness to believe so also.

Love xxx