Thursday, August 16, 2007


So you know the bit about leaving Guernsey and finding the dream boy and planning the wedding etc etc...what you don't know is that I am a somewhat stupid person. I figured all of this would 'cure' me of my ills and put my bad memories to rest.

But for two weeks now I wake up several times a night being shaken by Will from a nightmare in which I'm reliving every bad experience's like being there again, being through it again. It upsets not only me but Will also.

I cry and I'm still cutting.

What's going on? I do not know.

I got my A Level results today and they weren't what people expected of me, I'm going to Hull University rather than Edinburgh and strictly speaking I didn't even make the grades for that...

So I'm living the dream, but still the black nightmare appears to write the scripts.


miss v said...

Healing time has its own timescale, treasure, and for each person it is different.
It'll get better, love. It always does, eventually... *hugs*

live and forget said...

i looked. i hope thats ok. did you look at mine yet. i love you and ill be there for you for the rest of your life it will never change. forever and a day i love you mwah

Niki said...

I know you looked. I looked too.
love you

Julie said...

Life is just damn hard.....well for some of us anyway!

Take care

Julie x

Rainbow dreams said...

Niki, am thinking of you...miss V has wise words...I don't know whats going on...but I know things rarely get better overnight - it's a rocky road we stumble along.... what has helped in the past?
I'm pleased you have Will there with you - it helps to have someone to be alongside ...x

Rainbow dreams said...

Hi Niki, am thinking - how's it going?
Hugs and love from me, xxx

Stagestruckgal said...

hi Niki, hope everythings going okay, miss v does have wise words, things take time to heal and sometimes its longer than you think. let it take its course honey, thinking of you xxxxx