Forgive me, I need to get this out before it consumes me.
I am so lucky. So lucky. I have a house to live in, I have family, I have friends and I have air in my lungs. I am loved. I love.
I am crying. I am crying because it hurts so much to have these things. It hurts. It has done for as long as I can remember. I heard such a sad story yesterday and I've cried about it - I can't tell you as it's not mine to share.
I ignored my best friend, Saffron, all day today. All day. I ignored her. I wouldn't let her close for a hug. I wouldn't answer her honestly.
I have my beautiful boy who loves me and who I love.
So what the fuck is all of this in my head? These tears? This hurt?
What is it?
I have no credit on my phone, thankfully. There's no-one calling me and I can't call anyone. I've pushed too hard this time.