I'm sorry. Last week and this week were a bit dramatic and I was in an extremely strange place - hence I left the blog (and my life) for a little while to make sure I didn't offend, annoy or argue with anyone - because I wasn't myself anyway.
Today I woke up a little brighter and I got showered, dressed and ready for college for the first time in a while. I drove to college with trepidation and nearly changed my mind when I got to the front door. But I didn't turn around and scuttle back home, I carried on walking.
I got an offer from Glasgow today, and an e-mail from Edinburgh. I've had my subject reviews and got a bit overcome with all that but instead of following my usual self-destruct method I went to the help office, like I was advised, and took a few minutes out.
I have to learn how to pace myself, and stay calm. I have to learn not to get stressed and get myself in danger - I've got to stop calling people if this happens! Somewhere along the journey through seventeen years something got mixed up and started firing to the wrong neuron or something, but instead of flying off into the deep end I'm gonna take a few deep breaths. This is not to say of course that I'll stop moaning to y'all and going all loopy - I can't promise that!
Another target is to stop being selfish and difficult - have you ever noticed how many times I use the word 'I' in every post? It's a lot trust me and that's got to change. Get over yourself Niki!
There's a lot more to say but I'll leave it here and get a few reactions.