Monday, October 02, 2006

Desperate

Soon. Soon I will stop swamping you with black clouds. Soon.

I am told anyway. God told me. I'm not sure that I believe him.

I don't know what he meant. I have an idea.

Until then, shine on my sparkles.

8 comments:

Nodders said...

He told you?!! That's some deep holy shit you've got there. I was prepared to accept you going along with the prose, but to be tuning into the radio station too, wow. How are you receiving the messages? Do you have to be a Christian in order for God to speak to you (and no, I'm not being naive and believing your hearing voices) or am I actually receiving messages from God, but I'm just confused and interpreting it as my own rational thinking and observations. Do Christians think us agnosticas and athiests are plageurising?

I'm sorry, I said I'd be supportive of your choices, I'm just being the cynical, blasphemous wee cricket talking in your ear, to keep you questioning that what your doing is the right thing.

Niki said...

Gordon I know you don't think I'm doing the right thing but have you any other ideas? Really? Anything else at all?

Niki said...

Sorry. Didn't mean to snap.

Nodders said...

Other ideas? Its not a matter of me saying that what you're actually taking on board is wrong, merely that I don't want you to confuse the actual process of gathering information as what god has laid in front of you, when before hand you would have perceived it as your own common sense and intelligence. I don't see how my pathway holds any less intrinsic value. I would argue that this way has more value, because it has the backing of psycological and scientific grounding in truth, where as God and his means of providing evidence does not.

I understand that you are seeing Christianity as a new perspective that you hope to bring more light and meaning to your life, and I agree that the Bible has much to look towards in terms of values and moral grounding, but to accept that god is speaking to you when a few weeks ago you wouldn't have believed that and would instead see the marks of your own judgement, well, it's dangerous ground.

I only hope that you prefer me being honest this way than to be false with you and go along with it.

Stagestruckgal said...

i think i agree with Gordons statements, but im also on both sides at the same time. Its the whole story of the big bang, but would it have evolved as it did, if someone or something hadnt put the atoms there to fuse? there has to be some sort of 'extra terrestrial' explanation to it, (and I include God in that!) I just have to have an explanation to it, regardless of whether its scientific, religious or a mixture of both. I am not a worshipping kinda gal, I prefer to believe what I want, in terms of God. I believe there is a higher deity but not necessarily the image of God I get in open toe sandals and a kaftan. This image has been in my mind since a small 5 year old when I attended a Roman Catholic Rainbow group, and never really left. There are a lot of things life doesnt explain, like why God has to chose those who die and who dont. The Soham Murders for example, theyre still alive and normal, lovely people are dead. I dont understand why he doesnt send them to hell, if hell exists. According to Dr Who, hell is a state of mind and a basic fear of things you dont like. I think this makes sense, not because it is in Dr Who, but because some people believe in hell and some dont, and each version is different. I am not a worshipper particularly in any way, I just enjoy the carolling at Christmas, which is why I go to Christmas Carol services. I think to some extent, God is a state of mind, people have different views and images of him, and he is just something to believe in where science cant prove things, coming back to my arguement of the big bang. (See above). But, to my mind, messages from God are a bit of a no-no, depending on what sorta Christianity it is, Catholicism, He only talks to his priests, the rest of us arent good enough, and I dont believe that. However, the other view that God talks to us all in prayer is a better view because if he is God, then surely he can cope with all those people telling him things and asking forgiveness. Thats my view. But you know, if you dont like it, see loopholes in it, that i have contradicted myself, which i probably have, just tell me. i dont mind. I write as the thoughts flow, so it might be illegible for all i know.

Niki said...

I am saying that I have already received these pieces of information and dismissed them as my conscience or soul talking to me. Now I am considering the idea that it is something more than that. I'm sorry if I offended.

Lolly said...

I think having a faith is a very personal issue - one which means something different to each individual.

And so it is not something that should be argued over - there is no wrong and there is no right.
There is only Niki's happiness.

Niki said...

Thank you Lou *hugs*