I've always written or bragged about being someone who can handle change, maybe even someone who thrives on change, and maybe I used to be. Used to be. I've got to know what it is to be me more than ever before this past academic year and I've got my safe routines; I always take my pills at my locker, I always give Kayleigh a hug and walk round the school before classes start. I always go to the Candie Store to get lunch, then go to the gym and then home for a shower. These are all tiny things but they're things I've come to rely on. I don't mean I'm never spontaneous; there's nothing better than a piece of cake in Pelicans or a wander round the shops with my girls.
What do I do now? Find new routines when I'm working here there and everywhere? Find a new place to eat lunch while I'm travelling? Fit revision and clearing out my room into the day to day business of surviving?
It might seem like I'm exaggerating all this and maybe I am, it's just today though that I realised change isn't always that great. And while change might be great when I have the choice, when it's thrust upon me I don't feel comfortable with it. I haven't planned for it.
One day at a time then, I suppose
About Me
- Nikita
- I'm Nikita and I'm whatever you want me to be. I am a bipolar nothing. A student with no course. I am a writer and a critic. I'm a southerner who strayed north. I read with closed eyes. I take anti-psychotics and mood stabilisers and anti-depressants. My arms are littered with scars. I'm a dreamer who woke up. I am in love. aloha x
My first ever award, Thank you Patricia!
8 comments:
routine is reassuring, change or too much change at once can be unsettling...
one day ata time sounds good, take care,Katie, x
yes, i recommend one day at a time! or even just an hour at a time sometimes. it's especially tricky if your day is your own to organise as you please (i find). go easy on yourself. x
Thanks you guys; one day at a time it is. Hope you're okay. xxx
hey niki, this last post sounds like you're coming down a bit from the previous couple of posts. i honestly hope you're ok, one day at a time is a good idea. if you want change, make it happen yourself, dont be pushed into it.
as for the english lit class photo, i miss my class and teacher as well, it wont seem half so hard soon, i promise.
hope you're alright *hugs* xxxxxxxx
Hey Laura *hugs* I am just fine, and whilst the revision isn't happening some other great stuff is. Hope you're doing good too. xxx
thats nice to know niki. Yer, stuff is alright here. generally.
damn all the exams to hell!
thanks Niki, it's kind of one day at a time here too but it's fine - roll on the summer holidays ..
hugs Katie,xx
Laura and Katie - with both of you there! xxx
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