Monday, August 22, 2005

Constructive Destruction

I can't believe I'm going off on holiday on Thursday and this is what I'm leaving you with, I swear you don't deserve to be subjected to this after all you've said. But I need to say it. You know what I'm going to say...I'm sorry.
Love you. x x x

It's all empty,
Hollow spaces declaring allegiance,
To those faithless souls.
Inside me struggles,
Something so lost.
I'm no longer a little girl,
You lost her a long time ago,
I don't know when I let go of the rest,
Perhaps it was never there,
Maybe I'll never come back.
Part of me has already said goodbye,
That little child,
I haven't been introduced to what comes next,
Really it isn't time.
If there ever is the time,
I couldn't say whether I'll be here,
So much uncertainty in my firm tone,
I can't even convince you anymore,
No more pretending.
I don't miss her now she's gone,
What she did wasn't true,
Although it might have been better than right now,
For a little while longer,
Later she would have fallen,
Faster than me right now,
Destruction saved her,
That precious girl I used to be.
I know so much more now than you,
In times past I pushed that aside,
I played the act for you,
When honestly I didn't believe it,
Now I know there is no acting on your part,
I'll drop mine,
Wave goodbye to your little girl,
And if you don't like that word,
Say it again to me,
Because I'm never coming back.
I don't know where I'm going,
I don't know what will happen next,
I know you'll not touch me again,
I know in destroying my childish illusions,
You created me.


Niki said...

bye everyone. see you soon. x x x

Stagestruckgal said...

sees ya, have a good hol, enjoy it while it lasts! talk when ya get back, xx

Nodders said...

Tell us what you got in your GCSEs when you get back! x

Niki said...

I got a C, three Bs, three As and two A*s. Tell you the subjects when I get back, on a library computer. x x x

Niki said...

ok i give up. this library computer refuses access to Davey's blog, has done for a year now. i remember sitting in this library in Fareham last July and it wouldnt let me in, still this problem prevails. so davey if you're out there, hi. x x x